There are a number of resources and places you can go to for help.  The information provided here will give you a start but it can't provide the in-person, individual help you, or a loved one, will need. 

Please choose a contact or resource from the list that serves the area where you live.  Your survival, and the survival of your children or loved one, may depend on it.

Practical Steps in Responding To Victims of Domestic Violence

Just knowing that someone is concerned, that she is not alone, that abuse is never justified and that resources are available can make a tremendous difference to an abused woman. 

(Borrowed with permission from the Clinical Coordinator of Catholic Social Services.  Revised by Sabbath of Domestic Peace: An Interfaith Initiative.) 
 
These ideas will help you help your friend or loved one without crossing boundaries they are not ready for.

Keep in mind you may be the first person an abused woman has talked to about her situation. It is very difficult for a woman to acknowledge that she is a victim of abuse. She may not label what happens to her at home as abuse. Instead, she may talk to you about her partner being upset or things not going too well at home.

·  Listen  Let her tell her story. 

·  Believe  her story.  It is difficult for an abused woman to seek help.  She needs your trust. 

·  Recognize  she may be embarrassed, confused, or ambivalent after what she has gone through.  She may not be ready to leave the abusive situation and that is okay. 

·  Communicate: 

1. No one deserves to be hurt or abused.
2. You are concerned for her safety.
3. She is not alone.
4. There is help available.  It helps to reach out and talk to people who understand and want to help.

·  Ask if it is safe for her to go home?  If not, does she have a place to go?

·  Advise her about the need for a thorough plan for leaving - when to go, what to take, etc.

·  Let her know there is help available.

·  Provide her with resources to call.

·  Avoid suggesting marriage counseling. Until she is safe and the violence has stopped, couples counseling can be dangerous. When a woman speaks openly of her pain and fear in counseling sessions with her partner, she is in danger of being assaulted.

·  When possible, consider referring her to individual counseling with a counselor or a therapist who understands the complexities of domestic violence. A trained professional can help a woman plan effectively for her safety and the safety of her children and understand how to avoid disastrous relationships in the future.

·  Do not contact the abuser without her permission. If her abuser knows she turned to anyone for help, it could put her and her children in grave danger.